Trying something new today. Because that's what we're supposed to do, right?! Try new things and examine ourselves and fail a little bit. Yeah. I guess.
SO. Today there have been a couple of catalysts leading me to this particular moment of deciding to be vulnerable and share what I'm feeling. I have been reading the complete works of Brene Brown, which I cannot recommend enough. Her work is all about shame, empathy, daring greatly, and rising strong from adversity and it's honestly be paradigm shifting and life changing for me. I've blown through almost all four of her books in about a month. I've laughed, I've cried, I've done a lot of self-examination, it's been a friggin journey.
So that's been one thing. The second has been watching Vlogumentary, a documentary about vloggers like ShayCarl and Charles Trippy, etc. And I honestly was a little surprised by this one. I was a super avid Youtube watcher (viewer? Participater? I don't know.) when I was in my late teens and early twenties and I fell out of watching when I was going through my little self-discovery journey over the past five or six years. I've just recently been starting to get back to watching some of my old favorites and this documentary featured a lot of those guys!
And it seriously touched me so much to watch these people bear everything and put their whole heart into their work because I've been trying to challenge myself to do the same thing. I am an artist. (That feels super good to say out loud [Type? Say online? I DON'T KNOW.].) And I want to be creating. That's why I am majoring in English, that's why I started writing in the first place, that's what I want to be when I grow up! So to see the journey that some of my favorite creators have gone through really hit me to my core. It was kind of a slap in the face to see these people going through so much heartache and struggle and wondering if they're doing the right thing and here I am, standing in my own way of doing what I truly want to do. Which is to show up, be vulnerable, and share my creations/art/feelings/opinions with the world.
Next week, I'm presenting a paper that's very close to my heart titled, "Rehabilitation vs. Incarceration." It's a research paper/narrative hybrid in which I make the case for rehabilitation for those suffering from addiction rather than incarceration. I presenting this paper, not in class, but at the Writing for Social Change Conference at my university.
I KNOW. How scary is that?! When I got the email, I was instantly shocked, then excited, then terrified. Who am I to be talking about social change?! I'm just a twenty-five year old girl with some interesting perspective in my sophomore year of college! And on top of that, I'm making the executive decision to bear all and put in key details that I had previously left out because I was worried about how people would perceive me. I made this decision based on everything I'm learning about vulnerability because I truly think that it could really make a difference to share this information with others.
That obviously does not make it any easier at all and I'm still scared. But I'm doing it. For my audience, for me, etc. And I'm proud of myself.
Does this post make any sense? Is there an underlying theme I'm trying to express to any one who happens to maybe read this post?
I think what I'm trying to say is: do it. Be vulnerable, try new things, do something scary, do something out of your comfort zone even if there's the very real possibility of failure. Because that's when the most influential and amazing change can happen in your life. You may fall down, but it's nice to know that you always have the option to get back up.
SO. Today there have been a couple of catalysts leading me to this particular moment of deciding to be vulnerable and share what I'm feeling. I have been reading the complete works of Brene Brown, which I cannot recommend enough. Her work is all about shame, empathy, daring greatly, and rising strong from adversity and it's honestly be paradigm shifting and life changing for me. I've blown through almost all four of her books in about a month. I've laughed, I've cried, I've done a lot of self-examination, it's been a friggin journey.
So that's been one thing. The second has been watching Vlogumentary, a documentary about vloggers like ShayCarl and Charles Trippy, etc. And I honestly was a little surprised by this one. I was a super avid Youtube watcher (viewer? Participater? I don't know.) when I was in my late teens and early twenties and I fell out of watching when I was going through my little self-discovery journey over the past five or six years. I've just recently been starting to get back to watching some of my old favorites and this documentary featured a lot of those guys!
And it seriously touched me so much to watch these people bear everything and put their whole heart into their work because I've been trying to challenge myself to do the same thing. I am an artist. (That feels super good to say out loud [Type? Say online? I DON'T KNOW.].) And I want to be creating. That's why I am majoring in English, that's why I started writing in the first place, that's what I want to be when I grow up! So to see the journey that some of my favorite creators have gone through really hit me to my core. It was kind of a slap in the face to see these people going through so much heartache and struggle and wondering if they're doing the right thing and here I am, standing in my own way of doing what I truly want to do. Which is to show up, be vulnerable, and share my creations/art/feelings/opinions with the world.
Next week, I'm presenting a paper that's very close to my heart titled, "Rehabilitation vs. Incarceration." It's a research paper/narrative hybrid in which I make the case for rehabilitation for those suffering from addiction rather than incarceration. I presenting this paper, not in class, but at the Writing for Social Change Conference at my university.
I KNOW. How scary is that?! When I got the email, I was instantly shocked, then excited, then terrified. Who am I to be talking about social change?! I'm just a twenty-five year old girl with some interesting perspective in my sophomore year of college! And on top of that, I'm making the executive decision to bear all and put in key details that I had previously left out because I was worried about how people would perceive me. I made this decision based on everything I'm learning about vulnerability because I truly think that it could really make a difference to share this information with others.
That obviously does not make it any easier at all and I'm still scared. But I'm doing it. For my audience, for me, etc. And I'm proud of myself.
Does this post make any sense? Is there an underlying theme I'm trying to express to any one who happens to maybe read this post?
I think what I'm trying to say is: do it. Be vulnerable, try new things, do something scary, do something out of your comfort zone even if there's the very real possibility of failure. Because that's when the most influential and amazing change can happen in your life. You may fall down, but it's nice to know that you always have the option to get back up.
Love this! Love Brene! Love that you are there in the arena being amazing!!
ReplyDeleteI love this and reading about your journey! I've been going through a similar journey of self-discovery and it always inspires and encourages me to read about someone else's! I really need to read Brene Brown's stuff! I've seen her everywhere and know I would love it in this place I am right now.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to read your writings as long as you're blogging and getting benefit out of it! Go get 'em next week!! What an incredible opportunity to challenge and push yourself!
Thanks for being vulnerable and real...it's tough, but way better than hiding behind our walls! :)
- Gisele
giselechastain.com